Mind vs Body

How do you know when the time is right? Third date last night, daily phone calls and definite chemistry. Darren drove all the way from NoSco to my place (Downtown) to take me to Jugheads. It's like driving a full circle, but he wanted to pick me up. Who the fuck picks up a girl anymore to go out???? Cool points for that. My intern's band was playing last night and we had a really good time. Normally, the PDA thing doesn't fly with me, but a couple kisses at the bar just seemed...right. Not like I really cared what anyone there thought anyway.
So, he drives me home, it's a bit before midnight, I invite him in. Wasn't really expecting much. All we'd done so far is kiss. I think it's the East Coast in him. Well, in both of us. It's funny how different people are, depending on where they're from. Seems that most guys I've dated expected WAY too much the first time together.
My older sister told me not to change the sheets. Good deterrment not to sleep with the guy. So, I didn't. Other say not to shave your legs. I can't do that, because hairy legs bother me more than a guy. They wouldn't notice anyway, I'm sure. Not with a vagina staring them in the face.
So, I know he wanted to, but I told him what my sister said. He was cool with it, at least that's what I got from him. We'll see. I can get laid anytime I want. I think it's about time for something more. I'd rather have feelings behind it, too.

Hope this doesn't jinx anything!

So, a few weeks ago, I go online to actually delete a profile on one of those dating sites. The whole insanity thing again and meeting the freaks was enough for me. For my day job, all I hear are dating horror stories. For some reason, i decide to open one of the messages. The guy knows Melrose. And a lot of the music venues/bands I help out. Ok, maybe it's worth a shot. We talked on the phone only a couple times, the last time was last week. He's lived here for 20 years and had never done First Friday, so we make a date for it. I'm pretty much thinking he'll forget. Whatever, not like I wouldn't be going anyway. So, he called the other night to see if we were still on. Huh??? Well, worth a shot. No endless texts, emails, blah blah blah. The few emails/phone calls were fun and I'm so glad I went tonight!
First of all, my very favorite people in the world are NY Jews. They tell it like it is! He's a Jew from Jersey, non-practicing anymore. Not a huge drinker. I don't really divulge I'm in recovery, but I did let him know the other night I don't drink. I promise I'll still be fun. He's cool with it.
So, his first test was to actually find out meet-up spot, the Bikini Lounge. All I tell him is the name and that it's on 15th Ave and Grand. He finds it. I'm so fucking terrified and shy, I call him from outside to come meet me there. I really don't know what he looks like anyway. Instant connection. Conversation starts and we didn't stop talking all night. Did the whole Grand Ave First Friday, stopping in at galleries. The fact that he wasn't overwhelmed by the people I knew is an automatic gagillion cool points. Really funny. Halfway through, he tells me about how he had sent my picture to a female friend of his in Prescott. Approval, maybe? She says to him that she saw me at the Rose and Crown, the night of my birthday party, and gives him the thumbs up. Small world.
Anyway, he even said halfway through the night that he'd like to see me again, and that he thinks I would probably give me a kiss at the end of the evening. I almost wished I had my recorder out, just so I could play that back at that very moment. I'm so used to guys who aren't upfront and honest like me. Games and shit.
Anyway, I don't want to jinx anything. He's really funny, cool, and has his shit together.
End.

Ugh, my birthday.

Most people get excited about their birthday. Me...eh. My father died the day before my birthday 6 years ago. It's like a cloud hanging over me. So, for a couple years now, I've had a party. Have bands play or just get everyone together at a friend's pub. I need to surround myself with good people who may *actually* care for a few hours. Get my mind off 1) Turning 38. *vomit* 2) My dad 3) Still being single
I hate my birthday. I think I'll change the date. I mean, you can change your name, so surely there's a way to change your birthdate, right? RIGHT??????

I may have figured it out...

Yeah, I actually believe what guys say. The "Oh, we have so much in common," or the "are you just saying that to impress me?" shit. The endless texts but no phone call or actually face-to-face time. My problem is that I actually take to heart what people tell me. I'm just going to be a total cynic. What kills me most? I have a male friend who hasn't worked in almost 6 months. Love him to death. Doesn't even have his own place or even a vehicle to drive at the moment. HE is dating someone!!! How can this be??? How can a guy with absolutely NOTHING to offer have someone to hold and kiss, and here I am. Great job, nice car, cool apartment and all the other awesomeness about me...and nobody. WTF????????? I mean, yeah, he has a great personality, but there's not even a dollar in his pocket. *I* have a great personality, too. Geesh.
So, I'm just gonna keep my eyes open and ears shut. No more making the first move. No more "chasing" and making the first contact of the day. Fuck that shit. Everything you say is just bullshit, anyway.

The definition of insanity

Einstein said it was doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. In the past couple months, I think I became insane! A friend asked why I hadn't posted a blog lately. I'm breaking the insanity cycle. Here I was, Lil Miss Serial Dater. Meeting guys in the same way, expecting it to finally work.
Done with that. Told Mr. Love to fly a kite. That was a situation that, after 8 months, wasn't changing.
For now, I'll stay alone. It will have to smack me in the face. He will have to find me. It's gonna take a strong man to be able to deal with my life. I won't change it for anyone. I've worked for 6 years to get where I am. While I'm not anywhere close to where I want to be in my careers, I'm getting there. My dreams and ambitions will always come first. He who can live it with me is he who drives the 4 hours to Vegas with me. Ha!

How can someone be sooooooo insulting?

So, Jim, the guy who got the Chinese condiment bag note, emailed today. I had emailed him a few days ago, checking on how he was feeling (he had strep) and asked when we would be hanging out.
Here's the response I got:
"I am feeling about 1000 times better, thanks for asking. The upside of strep is that I think I may have actually stopped smoking!
As far as hanging out, I went on a last minute/impromptu date last week. It went very, very well. I think I need to investigate this before I get anything else going. I am sure you understand. If things don't work out you will definitely be hearing from me."

EXCUSE ME??????????? Lose my number, assclown.

I am such a dork!

Ok, so a few days ago, I get a message on a dating site and it's from a stylist (guy) at a salon I service. OMG how embarrassing for someone who KNOWS me to see me on there! But, I've seen him a few times at the salon and he seemed pretty cool. So, there's this party Friday, Queer Christmas, and I thought it would be fun to ask him to go. I mean, he's around the gays all the time, so at least I know he's tolerant. Very important to me.
So, I'm at work, and figure I'd write him a note for when I drop off their delivery today, asking him if he wants to go. This is where I get so dorky. I wanted to write a note with boxes to check for if he did or didn't want to go. Here's what I wrote:
Hi Jim!
Do you want to go to a party @FEZ with me on Friday?
Check one:
[ ] Yes
[ ] No
[ ] Hell no

Alfaparf Amy (that's what he called me in the email. It's the name of one of the lines we carry)
and I put my phone number on it. We couldn't figure out WHAT to write it on. A sticky note seemed tacky (literally!) and a business card was stupid. Jenni From Work (JFW from now on!) and I were trying to find something to write it on. She comes out of the kitchen...with this little white bag in her hand. It's been in the kitchen for 3 weeks. Full of soy sauce, mustard sauce and a fortune cookie. "No way!" I say. She says "Come on, it's original and what do you have to lose?" Then we start laughing. How cool would it be to get a bag of condiments with an invite to go out with Fabulous????
So, nervous as Hell (I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO shy about boys) I take it to the salon. The receptionist was in on it and he was standing there...so I kinda dropped it on her desk with their delivery and said "OMG you have to give it to him for me!" The owner was standing there, too, and I didn't want to make an ass out of myself in front of my most favorite client in the WORLD!
I called an hour later to see if she had given it to him. Now...the wait. Is he gonna call?????????
He called! Laughing about the Chinese condiment bag! We talked for about a half hour or so (I'm looking in my phone for the call duration. I'll never forget this!) OK it was 43:21 minutes.
He can't come to the party because his friend is getting his Master's and graduating that night. But, he said as soon as Xmas was over, we'd do something. Cool!

Oh, and today I was offered to go full-time at my part-time job. I can't WAIT to quit my day job. My boss is a total cunt.