Things are so good!

So, we've been dating for almost 6 weeks. My parents came down for dinner last week and invited Darren. YIKES! Meet my parents??? So quickly? Eh, whatever. I told him it's not this big relationship step and it's cool if he doesn't want to go. He wanted to. Hmmmmm.
Meet my parents. They had my niece, Olivia. My step-sister was there, too. Ugh. He's pretty mellow, like me and seemed unphased. He only had a few moments with my Mom without me while I was peeing. I came out and saw them talking and almost ran. I could just imagine what my mom was asking. I don't talk about him much because I'm afraid to jinx it. Sex is amazing, we talk until all hours of the morning. We all walked outside and he invited me over. I hadn't been to his place yet. He's renting half a house from some friends who have a McMansion in NoSco. He's put a few bids in on houses and has the option to take his time, since he has a ton of his own space. He said "Phew, I made it through dinner with the parents!" Maybe he did think it was more serious that I did. Either way, it was a great night.
Yesterday, he invited me to happy hour to meet some of his friends. He's already met a ton of mine as I seem to drag him around. He loves it, of course! I was soooooooooooooo nervous on the way there! Was I wearing OK clothes? How was my hair? What the fuck am I gonna say? It went well. They left, we stayed and had dinner then hit a movie. Met up with Julia and Georgie and Chrissy after. I'm always afraid my life is too crazy for someone, but he's handling it well and doesn't seem to be getting freaked out. I even took him to the roller derby last week.
Since my abusive ex moved out 2 years ago, I have NEVER let anyone stay over, but he stayed last night for the second time. Had me laughing until I fell asleep.
Darren's awesome and we seem to be at a good pace without rushing stuff. No "L" word yet. He did buy tickets to Jane's Addiction/NIN for May 15th. I guess that means we'll be together for at least another month. He's definitely a keeper. Treats me very well, as I do him. I guess since I've been hurt and dicked around so much in the past, I'm a bit scared. I'll just go with the flow and not think too much about the future shit and it will be ok.

Mind vs Body

How do you know when the time is right? Third date last night, daily phone calls and definite chemistry. Darren drove all the way from NoSco to my place (Downtown) to take me to Jugheads. It's like driving a full circle, but he wanted to pick me up. Who the fuck picks up a girl anymore to go out???? Cool points for that. My intern's band was playing last night and we had a really good time. Normally, the PDA thing doesn't fly with me, but a couple kisses at the bar just seemed...right. Not like I really cared what anyone there thought anyway.
So, he drives me home, it's a bit before midnight, I invite him in. Wasn't really expecting much. All we'd done so far is kiss. I think it's the East Coast in him. Well, in both of us. It's funny how different people are, depending on where they're from. Seems that most guys I've dated expected WAY too much the first time together.
My older sister told me not to change the sheets. Good deterrment not to sleep with the guy. So, I didn't. Other say not to shave your legs. I can't do that, because hairy legs bother me more than a guy. They wouldn't notice anyway, I'm sure. Not with a vagina staring them in the face.
So, I know he wanted to, but I told him what my sister said. He was cool with it, at least that's what I got from him. We'll see. I can get laid anytime I want. I think it's about time for something more. I'd rather have feelings behind it, too.

Hope this doesn't jinx anything!

So, a few weeks ago, I go online to actually delete a profile on one of those dating sites. The whole insanity thing again and meeting the freaks was enough for me. For my day job, all I hear are dating horror stories. For some reason, i decide to open one of the messages. The guy knows Melrose. And a lot of the music venues/bands I help out. Ok, maybe it's worth a shot. We talked on the phone only a couple times, the last time was last week. He's lived here for 20 years and had never done First Friday, so we make a date for it. I'm pretty much thinking he'll forget. Whatever, not like I wouldn't be going anyway. So, he called the other night to see if we were still on. Huh??? Well, worth a shot. No endless texts, emails, blah blah blah. The few emails/phone calls were fun and I'm so glad I went tonight!
First of all, my very favorite people in the world are NY Jews. They tell it like it is! He's a Jew from Jersey, non-practicing anymore. Not a huge drinker. I don't really divulge I'm in recovery, but I did let him know the other night I don't drink. I promise I'll still be fun. He's cool with it.
So, his first test was to actually find out meet-up spot, the Bikini Lounge. All I tell him is the name and that it's on 15th Ave and Grand. He finds it. I'm so fucking terrified and shy, I call him from outside to come meet me there. I really don't know what he looks like anyway. Instant connection. Conversation starts and we didn't stop talking all night. Did the whole Grand Ave First Friday, stopping in at galleries. The fact that he wasn't overwhelmed by the people I knew is an automatic gagillion cool points. Really funny. Halfway through, he tells me about how he had sent my picture to a female friend of his in Prescott. Approval, maybe? She says to him that she saw me at the Rose and Crown, the night of my birthday party, and gives him the thumbs up. Small world.
Anyway, he even said halfway through the night that he'd like to see me again, and that he thinks I would probably give me a kiss at the end of the evening. I almost wished I had my recorder out, just so I could play that back at that very moment. I'm so used to guys who aren't upfront and honest like me. Games and shit.
Anyway, I don't want to jinx anything. He's really funny, cool, and has his shit together.
End.

Ugh, my birthday.

Most people get excited about their birthday. Me...eh. My father died the day before my birthday 6 years ago. It's like a cloud hanging over me. So, for a couple years now, I've had a party. Have bands play or just get everyone together at a friend's pub. I need to surround myself with good people who may *actually* care for a few hours. Get my mind off 1) Turning 38. *vomit* 2) My dad 3) Still being single
I hate my birthday. I think I'll change the date. I mean, you can change your name, so surely there's a way to change your birthdate, right? RIGHT??????

I may have figured it out...

Yeah, I actually believe what guys say. The "Oh, we have so much in common," or the "are you just saying that to impress me?" shit. The endless texts but no phone call or actually face-to-face time. My problem is that I actually take to heart what people tell me. I'm just going to be a total cynic. What kills me most? I have a male friend who hasn't worked in almost 6 months. Love him to death. Doesn't even have his own place or even a vehicle to drive at the moment. HE is dating someone!!! How can this be??? How can a guy with absolutely NOTHING to offer have someone to hold and kiss, and here I am. Great job, nice car, cool apartment and all the other awesomeness about me...and nobody. WTF????????? I mean, yeah, he has a great personality, but there's not even a dollar in his pocket. *I* have a great personality, too. Geesh.
So, I'm just gonna keep my eyes open and ears shut. No more making the first move. No more "chasing" and making the first contact of the day. Fuck that shit. Everything you say is just bullshit, anyway.

The definition of insanity

Einstein said it was doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. In the past couple months, I think I became insane! A friend asked why I hadn't posted a blog lately. I'm breaking the insanity cycle. Here I was, Lil Miss Serial Dater. Meeting guys in the same way, expecting it to finally work.
Done with that. Told Mr. Love to fly a kite. That was a situation that, after 8 months, wasn't changing.
For now, I'll stay alone. It will have to smack me in the face. He will have to find me. It's gonna take a strong man to be able to deal with my life. I won't change it for anyone. I've worked for 6 years to get where I am. While I'm not anywhere close to where I want to be in my careers, I'm getting there. My dreams and ambitions will always come first. He who can live it with me is he who drives the 4 hours to Vegas with me. Ha!

How can someone be sooooooo insulting?

So, Jim, the guy who got the Chinese condiment bag note, emailed today. I had emailed him a few days ago, checking on how he was feeling (he had strep) and asked when we would be hanging out.
Here's the response I got:
"I am feeling about 1000 times better, thanks for asking. The upside of strep is that I think I may have actually stopped smoking!
As far as hanging out, I went on a last minute/impromptu date last week. It went very, very well. I think I need to investigate this before I get anything else going. I am sure you understand. If things don't work out you will definitely be hearing from me."

EXCUSE ME??????????? Lose my number, assclown.