I feel so insignificant. The past few months, I was blown-off by one of my really good friends. Twice. Once was at the movies. I sat. And waited. Nothing. Then, on a Friday night. I waited. No call till 90 minutes after we were to meet. I was already home.
This week, guy I've been seeing forgot we had plans. Twice.
I keep asking myself "What did I do??? Who am I? Who am I NOT??"
It's a shitty feeling to be forgotten. It feels worthless. I feel like I'm always available for everyone around me. I guess that's what I try to do to show people that my relationships with them are important to me. Am I extraordinary for that? I don't think so. I think that's what you're supposed to do.
Forgotten. Insignificant. Worthless.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Friday, November 6, 2009
Time for an update!
I keep forgetting to update my blog. Or, maybe it's just not worth it.
First, the dates.
Alan was a really nice, cute black man. Many phone conversations and finally met for dessert. I really despise when dessert is their suggestion, yet they don't order anything or even attempt to share. I mean, making a girl eat alone, let alone dessert, isn't too cool. And dumb!!! Dumber than the box that the rocks came in. I think it was the 7 years in the Army. We were kissing in the parking lot and I *knew* it wasn't going to turn into a relationship (DUMB and no job, living off his parents!) so I took him home. There's a scratching noise in my kitchen. Ugh, a rat. Caught in a trap that is supposed to humanely kill them but it didn't. He had volunteered to do it, but I just told him I would call the exterminator in the morning. Took him right to the bedroom. HUGE cock! Almost too big, but it was only a one-night thing, so might as well use it, right? After the "deed" and laying there talking, I kindly informed him that he would NOT be spending the night. I never let a guy sleep over until we are actually dating and together for awhile. I mean, I really don't want to see your face the next day. He left and texted me EVERY Friday for 3 months LATE at night. Like after 10pm. Now, if I don't have plans or I'm out, things aren't changing at 11pm. ESPECIALLY if it's a night I am home just chilling. I answered the first few that I was busy, but he kept on texting, almost every Friday. His messages were always "Getting my second wind." WTF??? If we don't talk at ALL during the week and I ONLY hear from you through a text on Friday, how is "Getting my second wind" going to lure me in? I never delete numbers from my phone so that I know who it is. That's a lesson I learned from JFW. So, one night, after such a text, for fun, I wrote: "Who is this and WHY would I meet you at Zipps???" Then, he called and I didn't answer. DUMB.
Now, it would be a couple of months before I even *wanted* to date anyone. I had roof rats. Big, fat, ugly, dirty roof rats. My landlords had an exterminator come every week to set/check the traps. Every week, a rat. Sometimes, the rat wouldn't get to the trap and I would walk into my kitchen, only to see a rat on my countertop. Now, as soon as this "problem" had developed, I completely douched and bleached my kitchen. I had to put my cat food dishes up on my dining room table, because that's what lured them into my place to begin with. My 16-year old cat, Daisey, has been trained to NEVER go on the cupboard/table, and now I have to show her it's OK. The exterminator "rat boy" came every week to check the traps. The one that was stuck in the trap and didn't get killed? He had to borrow a hammer from me to kill it! I heard it screaming from the other side of my apartment! How horrible is that??????? I kept asking my landlords about getting a handyman in there to plug up the holes. It seems that having that done would actually SAVE them the cost of having an exterminator come, every week, for 3 months. I kept getting the same excuse "My email must have gone to his spam box because I haven't heard from him yet." Uh....then find another one???? You have a tenant who's been in your building for over 3 years. Take care of them!!! Forward to the next guy...
I dated a guy named Mike for two weeks. I usually don't want someone to meet my friends right away, but I just figured this time "What the heck" and had him meet us out for grilled cheese sandwiches. We had talked on the phone for a couple of weeks before meeting, and would talk for at least an hour every night. We had a lot in common: music, disbelief in religion, and the same political views. Funny how in person, someone can be so BORING!!!!! I didn't even WANT a kiss the first night. So, gave it a second chance and met at FEZ. Had a great time. He brought me a CD and some candy (he had asked me earlier in the week what my favorite was) and I kissed him in the parking lot, but didn't invite him home. I did, though, the next week, invite him over for dinner. He was always buying me things and seemed really nice. He even brought a toy and treats for Dexter. While we are waiting for dinner to get done (rice seems to take forever when you're with someone uber-boring!), I hear a scratching noise in the bathroom. My stomach dropped. As I walked in, there's my cat, CHANK, cornering a...rat. You have GOT to be kidding me! I finally have a guy over and this is what I get. Mike gets the rat trapped in a corner of my closet and neither one of us know what to do. I can't kill it. He can't kill it. So, I get a plyers for him to pick the damn thing up by the tail to whip outside. How embarrassing! We eat. Then he gets a bit too pushy with the physical stuff as we are kissing. I mean, I am NOT going to do anything more than kiss him. I just didn't "feel it" yet. He was a bit aggressive. Was I supposed to put out because he got a rat out of my house??????
The next day, he sent a text, joking, about how he'd been in the bathroom all night because of my food. I knew he was joking, and we texted a bit more, then he sends one saying that I'm a "bad girl who needs a spanking." WTF????? You've known me for less than 2 weeks and you think it's ok to talk to me like that???? I sent him a text back that said "You don't know me well enough to talk to me like that." Never heard from him again.
That was September. A couple weeks later, I agree to go out with an adorable, smart, funny black guy named Tyrone or something. I seriously don't remember his name. When you are going to ask me to get a bite to eat, and you suggest Applebee's, red flag number one gets raised. I suggest apps at Harley's. I don't expect everyone to be rich, but APPLEBEE'S???? Come on! So, as we are ordering, we begin to talk about politics. We have the same views and are both big supporters of Obama. This is where things get REALLY ugly. He says that Obama is likely to get shot because he's black. OK, well, maybe at one time that would have been the reason, but with all the changes he's trying to make and all the fucking Bush clean-up, I respond with: "Well, I think it will be because of the things he's trying to do, not for the color of his skin. McKinley was white. So was Lincoln. Oh, and Reagan." He gets up, loudly, at MY restaurant, says "You're a fucking racist!" and walks out. the place was nearly empty, but I know all of the employees very well. I am there almost every week, if not month. Ed, the bartender, just looked at me, jaw dropped open. I was so embarrassed!!!! I stayed back, didn't want to meet up with the guy in the parking lot to get yelled at again. As I was leaving, he was pulling out. Gave me the finger.
Geesh! If I were a racist, would I knowingly go out with a black guy????? That's just ignorant. He was one of those "poor me, I'm black" guys.
Whatev!!!!
First, the dates.
Alan was a really nice, cute black man. Many phone conversations and finally met for dessert. I really despise when dessert is their suggestion, yet they don't order anything or even attempt to share. I mean, making a girl eat alone, let alone dessert, isn't too cool. And dumb!!! Dumber than the box that the rocks came in. I think it was the 7 years in the Army. We were kissing in the parking lot and I *knew* it wasn't going to turn into a relationship (DUMB and no job, living off his parents!) so I took him home. There's a scratching noise in my kitchen. Ugh, a rat. Caught in a trap that is supposed to humanely kill them but it didn't. He had volunteered to do it, but I just told him I would call the exterminator in the morning. Took him right to the bedroom. HUGE cock! Almost too big, but it was only a one-night thing, so might as well use it, right? After the "deed" and laying there talking, I kindly informed him that he would NOT be spending the night. I never let a guy sleep over until we are actually dating and together for awhile. I mean, I really don't want to see your face the next day. He left and texted me EVERY Friday for 3 months LATE at night. Like after 10pm. Now, if I don't have plans or I'm out, things aren't changing at 11pm. ESPECIALLY if it's a night I am home just chilling. I answered the first few that I was busy, but he kept on texting, almost every Friday. His messages were always "Getting my second wind." WTF??? If we don't talk at ALL during the week and I ONLY hear from you through a text on Friday, how is "Getting my second wind" going to lure me in? I never delete numbers from my phone so that I know who it is. That's a lesson I learned from JFW. So, one night, after such a text, for fun, I wrote: "Who is this and WHY would I meet you at Zipps???" Then, he called and I didn't answer. DUMB.
Now, it would be a couple of months before I even *wanted* to date anyone. I had roof rats. Big, fat, ugly, dirty roof rats. My landlords had an exterminator come every week to set/check the traps. Every week, a rat. Sometimes, the rat wouldn't get to the trap and I would walk into my kitchen, only to see a rat on my countertop. Now, as soon as this "problem" had developed, I completely douched and bleached my kitchen. I had to put my cat food dishes up on my dining room table, because that's what lured them into my place to begin with. My 16-year old cat, Daisey, has been trained to NEVER go on the cupboard/table, and now I have to show her it's OK. The exterminator "rat boy" came every week to check the traps. The one that was stuck in the trap and didn't get killed? He had to borrow a hammer from me to kill it! I heard it screaming from the other side of my apartment! How horrible is that??????? I kept asking my landlords about getting a handyman in there to plug up the holes. It seems that having that done would actually SAVE them the cost of having an exterminator come, every week, for 3 months. I kept getting the same excuse "My email must have gone to his spam box because I haven't heard from him yet." Uh....then find another one???? You have a tenant who's been in your building for over 3 years. Take care of them!!! Forward to the next guy...
I dated a guy named Mike for two weeks. I usually don't want someone to meet my friends right away, but I just figured this time "What the heck" and had him meet us out for grilled cheese sandwiches. We had talked on the phone for a couple of weeks before meeting, and would talk for at least an hour every night. We had a lot in common: music, disbelief in religion, and the same political views. Funny how in person, someone can be so BORING!!!!! I didn't even WANT a kiss the first night. So, gave it a second chance and met at FEZ. Had a great time. He brought me a CD and some candy (he had asked me earlier in the week what my favorite was) and I kissed him in the parking lot, but didn't invite him home. I did, though, the next week, invite him over for dinner. He was always buying me things and seemed really nice. He even brought a toy and treats for Dexter. While we are waiting for dinner to get done (rice seems to take forever when you're with someone uber-boring!), I hear a scratching noise in the bathroom. My stomach dropped. As I walked in, there's my cat, CHANK, cornering a...rat. You have GOT to be kidding me! I finally have a guy over and this is what I get. Mike gets the rat trapped in a corner of my closet and neither one of us know what to do. I can't kill it. He can't kill it. So, I get a plyers for him to pick the damn thing up by the tail to whip outside. How embarrassing! We eat. Then he gets a bit too pushy with the physical stuff as we are kissing. I mean, I am NOT going to do anything more than kiss him. I just didn't "feel it" yet. He was a bit aggressive. Was I supposed to put out because he got a rat out of my house??????
The next day, he sent a text, joking, about how he'd been in the bathroom all night because of my food. I knew he was joking, and we texted a bit more, then he sends one saying that I'm a "bad girl who needs a spanking." WTF????? You've known me for less than 2 weeks and you think it's ok to talk to me like that???? I sent him a text back that said "You don't know me well enough to talk to me like that." Never heard from him again.
That was September. A couple weeks later, I agree to go out with an adorable, smart, funny black guy named Tyrone or something. I seriously don't remember his name. When you are going to ask me to get a bite to eat, and you suggest Applebee's, red flag number one gets raised. I suggest apps at Harley's. I don't expect everyone to be rich, but APPLEBEE'S???? Come on! So, as we are ordering, we begin to talk about politics. We have the same views and are both big supporters of Obama. This is where things get REALLY ugly. He says that Obama is likely to get shot because he's black. OK, well, maybe at one time that would have been the reason, but with all the changes he's trying to make and all the fucking Bush clean-up, I respond with: "Well, I think it will be because of the things he's trying to do, not for the color of his skin. McKinley was white. So was Lincoln. Oh, and Reagan." He gets up, loudly, at MY restaurant, says "You're a fucking racist!" and walks out. the place was nearly empty, but I know all of the employees very well. I am there almost every week, if not month. Ed, the bartender, just looked at me, jaw dropped open. I was so embarrassed!!!! I stayed back, didn't want to meet up with the guy in the parking lot to get yelled at again. As I was leaving, he was pulling out. Gave me the finger.
Geesh! If I were a racist, would I knowingly go out with a black guy????? That's just ignorant. He was one of those "poor me, I'm black" guys.
Whatev!!!!
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Well, it *sounded* good
I guess I forgot to update this and the Darren thing. I dumped him about a month ago. Things had made me uncomfortable for a week or two and I just figured I might as well end it.
It all started when we went to the library one day. I had wanted to check it out, get some books and have dinner. When I finished wandering the aisles, I found Darren...talking on his cell phone. In the LIBRARY. WTF??? Ok, whatever...
About a week later was the Jane's Addiction/NIN concert. We were sitting in a row with about a half dozen of his friends from work and their wives. It's a concert. A ROCK concert and I turned to say something to him...and he SHUSHED me. I pointed out that his friend and wife were talking...and that it was a CONCERT. He apologized in the car on the way home, but I couldn't believe it had happened. Who shushes people?????? The following week, I had gone to see some of my bands play at Mardi Gras. His friends from work play in a ska band that was playing just down the road. He begged me to come by, so I did. He was doing this ridiculous dance outside and I was joking and said "Uh, you can stop that." His words? "Fuck you, I'll do what I want." Uh-uh. No WAY was anyone going to talk to me like that. The next day was FEZ Foodies and I took him with me. He was miserable and then we went to the movies. On the way there, we were talking about New Year's and what we did. Me: for the past two years, I've gone with my former intern, Tondra, to a yoga and meditation workshop from 9pm till midnight. Parties are old. Same blah blah blah. We like to do something different. He's 41...and his friends all took Ambien and stayed awake. Apparently, it's supposed to make you trip out if you don't let it make you fall asleep. OK. That's cool when you're in COLLEGE. 41??? I don't think so.
I'm fine being around people who drink, though I don't do it myself. He said he needed to figure out where to go on vacation. When I go away, I want to DO something. Costa Rica was awesome because there's so much to DO, along with just hanging on the beach. He wanted to go somewhere "to get wasted." Right then I knew this wasn't the person for me. If that's your goal to get away, especially at 41, you're immature. Period. Why waste a ton of money going somewhere exotice to do what you do at home????? He then said he should "edit what he says to me." Nope. I don't want someone pretending. If that's the real you, show it.
So, the next day I told him I didn't want to be with him. Period. That was a Monday. Wednesday, I get a call from him asking where we stand. HUH?????
Looking back, he had told me a lot of things about the kind of person he is. He's been divorced for a year and a half, yet still has a Netflix. He won't send it back so that his ex can't get her 3-at-a-time. Ugh.
"Fuck you, I'll do what I want." Go ahead. Now, you're just doing it alone.
It all started when we went to the library one day. I had wanted to check it out, get some books and have dinner. When I finished wandering the aisles, I found Darren...talking on his cell phone. In the LIBRARY. WTF??? Ok, whatever...
About a week later was the Jane's Addiction/NIN concert. We were sitting in a row with about a half dozen of his friends from work and their wives. It's a concert. A ROCK concert and I turned to say something to him...and he SHUSHED me. I pointed out that his friend and wife were talking...and that it was a CONCERT. He apologized in the car on the way home, but I couldn't believe it had happened. Who shushes people?????? The following week, I had gone to see some of my bands play at Mardi Gras. His friends from work play in a ska band that was playing just down the road. He begged me to come by, so I did. He was doing this ridiculous dance outside and I was joking and said "Uh, you can stop that." His words? "Fuck you, I'll do what I want." Uh-uh. No WAY was anyone going to talk to me like that. The next day was FEZ Foodies and I took him with me. He was miserable and then we went to the movies. On the way there, we were talking about New Year's and what we did. Me: for the past two years, I've gone with my former intern, Tondra, to a yoga and meditation workshop from 9pm till midnight. Parties are old. Same blah blah blah. We like to do something different. He's 41...and his friends all took Ambien and stayed awake. Apparently, it's supposed to make you trip out if you don't let it make you fall asleep. OK. That's cool when you're in COLLEGE. 41??? I don't think so.
I'm fine being around people who drink, though I don't do it myself. He said he needed to figure out where to go on vacation. When I go away, I want to DO something. Costa Rica was awesome because there's so much to DO, along with just hanging on the beach. He wanted to go somewhere "to get wasted." Right then I knew this wasn't the person for me. If that's your goal to get away, especially at 41, you're immature. Period. Why waste a ton of money going somewhere exotice to do what you do at home????? He then said he should "edit what he says to me." Nope. I don't want someone pretending. If that's the real you, show it.
So, the next day I told him I didn't want to be with him. Period. That was a Monday. Wednesday, I get a call from him asking where we stand. HUH?????
Looking back, he had told me a lot of things about the kind of person he is. He's been divorced for a year and a half, yet still has a Netflix. He won't send it back so that his ex can't get her 3-at-a-time. Ugh.
"Fuck you, I'll do what I want." Go ahead. Now, you're just doing it alone.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Things are so good!
So, we've been dating for almost 6 weeks. My parents came down for dinner last week and invited Darren. YIKES! Meet my parents??? So quickly? Eh, whatever. I told him it's not this big relationship step and it's cool if he doesn't want to go. He wanted to. Hmmmmm.
Meet my parents. They had my niece, Olivia. My step-sister was there, too. Ugh. He's pretty mellow, like me and seemed unphased. He only had a few moments with my Mom without me while I was peeing. I came out and saw them talking and almost ran. I could just imagine what my mom was asking. I don't talk about him much because I'm afraid to jinx it. Sex is amazing, we talk until all hours of the morning. We all walked outside and he invited me over. I hadn't been to his place yet. He's renting half a house from some friends who have a McMansion in NoSco. He's put a few bids in on houses and has the option to take his time, since he has a ton of his own space. He said "Phew, I made it through dinner with the parents!" Maybe he did think it was more serious that I did. Either way, it was a great night.
Yesterday, he invited me to happy hour to meet some of his friends. He's already met a ton of mine as I seem to drag him around. He loves it, of course! I was soooooooooooooo nervous on the way there! Was I wearing OK clothes? How was my hair? What the fuck am I gonna say? It went well. They left, we stayed and had dinner then hit a movie. Met up with Julia and Georgie and Chrissy after. I'm always afraid my life is too crazy for someone, but he's handling it well and doesn't seem to be getting freaked out. I even took him to the roller derby last week.
Since my abusive ex moved out 2 years ago, I have NEVER let anyone stay over, but he stayed last night for the second time. Had me laughing until I fell asleep.
Darren's awesome and we seem to be at a good pace without rushing stuff. No "L" word yet. He did buy tickets to Jane's Addiction/NIN for May 15th. I guess that means we'll be together for at least another month. He's definitely a keeper. Treats me very well, as I do him. I guess since I've been hurt and dicked around so much in the past, I'm a bit scared. I'll just go with the flow and not think too much about the future shit and it will be ok.
Meet my parents. They had my niece, Olivia. My step-sister was there, too. Ugh. He's pretty mellow, like me and seemed unphased. He only had a few moments with my Mom without me while I was peeing. I came out and saw them talking and almost ran. I could just imagine what my mom was asking. I don't talk about him much because I'm afraid to jinx it. Sex is amazing, we talk until all hours of the morning. We all walked outside and he invited me over. I hadn't been to his place yet. He's renting half a house from some friends who have a McMansion in NoSco. He's put a few bids in on houses and has the option to take his time, since he has a ton of his own space. He said "Phew, I made it through dinner with the parents!" Maybe he did think it was more serious that I did. Either way, it was a great night.
Yesterday, he invited me to happy hour to meet some of his friends. He's already met a ton of mine as I seem to drag him around. He loves it, of course! I was soooooooooooooo nervous on the way there! Was I wearing OK clothes? How was my hair? What the fuck am I gonna say? It went well. They left, we stayed and had dinner then hit a movie. Met up with Julia and Georgie and Chrissy after. I'm always afraid my life is too crazy for someone, but he's handling it well and doesn't seem to be getting freaked out. I even took him to the roller derby last week.
Since my abusive ex moved out 2 years ago, I have NEVER let anyone stay over, but he stayed last night for the second time. Had me laughing until I fell asleep.
Darren's awesome and we seem to be at a good pace without rushing stuff. No "L" word yet. He did buy tickets to Jane's Addiction/NIN for May 15th. I guess that means we'll be together for at least another month. He's definitely a keeper. Treats me very well, as I do him. I guess since I've been hurt and dicked around so much in the past, I'm a bit scared. I'll just go with the flow and not think too much about the future shit and it will be ok.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Mind vs Body
How do you know when the time is right? Third date last night, daily phone calls and definite chemistry. Darren drove all the way from NoSco to my place (Downtown) to take me to Jugheads. It's like driving a full circle, but he wanted to pick me up. Who the fuck picks up a girl anymore to go out???? Cool points for that. My intern's band was playing last night and we had a really good time. Normally, the PDA thing doesn't fly with me, but a couple kisses at the bar just seemed...right. Not like I really cared what anyone there thought anyway.
So, he drives me home, it's a bit before midnight, I invite him in. Wasn't really expecting much. All we'd done so far is kiss. I think it's the East Coast in him. Well, in both of us. It's funny how different people are, depending on where they're from. Seems that most guys I've dated expected WAY too much the first time together.
My older sister told me not to change the sheets. Good deterrment not to sleep with the guy. So, I didn't. Other say not to shave your legs. I can't do that, because hairy legs bother me more than a guy. They wouldn't notice anyway, I'm sure. Not with a vagina staring them in the face.
So, I know he wanted to, but I told him what my sister said. He was cool with it, at least that's what I got from him. We'll see. I can get laid anytime I want. I think it's about time for something more. I'd rather have feelings behind it, too.
So, he drives me home, it's a bit before midnight, I invite him in. Wasn't really expecting much. All we'd done so far is kiss. I think it's the East Coast in him. Well, in both of us. It's funny how different people are, depending on where they're from. Seems that most guys I've dated expected WAY too much the first time together.
My older sister told me not to change the sheets. Good deterrment not to sleep with the guy. So, I didn't. Other say not to shave your legs. I can't do that, because hairy legs bother me more than a guy. They wouldn't notice anyway, I'm sure. Not with a vagina staring them in the face.
So, I know he wanted to, but I told him what my sister said. He was cool with it, at least that's what I got from him. We'll see. I can get laid anytime I want. I think it's about time for something more. I'd rather have feelings behind it, too.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Hope this doesn't jinx anything!
So, a few weeks ago, I go online to actually delete a profile on one of those dating sites. The whole insanity thing again and meeting the freaks was enough for me. For my day job, all I hear are dating horror stories. For some reason, i decide to open one of the messages. The guy knows Melrose. And a lot of the music venues/bands I help out. Ok, maybe it's worth a shot. We talked on the phone only a couple times, the last time was last week. He's lived here for 20 years and had never done First Friday, so we make a date for it. I'm pretty much thinking he'll forget. Whatever, not like I wouldn't be going anyway. So, he called the other night to see if we were still on. Huh??? Well, worth a shot. No endless texts, emails, blah blah blah. The few emails/phone calls were fun and I'm so glad I went tonight!
First of all, my very favorite people in the world are NY Jews. They tell it like it is! He's a Jew from Jersey, non-practicing anymore. Not a huge drinker. I don't really divulge I'm in recovery, but I did let him know the other night I don't drink. I promise I'll still be fun. He's cool with it.
So, his first test was to actually find out meet-up spot, the Bikini Lounge. All I tell him is the name and that it's on 15th Ave and Grand. He finds it. I'm so fucking terrified and shy, I call him from outside to come meet me there. I really don't know what he looks like anyway. Instant connection. Conversation starts and we didn't stop talking all night. Did the whole Grand Ave First Friday, stopping in at galleries. The fact that he wasn't overwhelmed by the people I knew is an automatic gagillion cool points. Really funny. Halfway through, he tells me about how he had sent my picture to a female friend of his in Prescott. Approval, maybe? She says to him that she saw me at the Rose and Crown, the night of my birthday party, and gives him the thumbs up. Small world.
Anyway, he even said halfway through the night that he'd like to see me again, and that he thinks I would probably give me a kiss at the end of the evening. I almost wished I had my recorder out, just so I could play that back at that very moment. I'm so used to guys who aren't upfront and honest like me. Games and shit.
Anyway, I don't want to jinx anything. He's really funny, cool, and has his shit together.
End.
First of all, my very favorite people in the world are NY Jews. They tell it like it is! He's a Jew from Jersey, non-practicing anymore. Not a huge drinker. I don't really divulge I'm in recovery, but I did let him know the other night I don't drink. I promise I'll still be fun. He's cool with it.
So, his first test was to actually find out meet-up spot, the Bikini Lounge. All I tell him is the name and that it's on 15th Ave and Grand. He finds it. I'm so fucking terrified and shy, I call him from outside to come meet me there. I really don't know what he looks like anyway. Instant connection. Conversation starts and we didn't stop talking all night. Did the whole Grand Ave First Friday, stopping in at galleries. The fact that he wasn't overwhelmed by the people I knew is an automatic gagillion cool points. Really funny. Halfway through, he tells me about how he had sent my picture to a female friend of his in Prescott. Approval, maybe? She says to him that she saw me at the Rose and Crown, the night of my birthday party, and gives him the thumbs up. Small world.
Anyway, he even said halfway through the night that he'd like to see me again, and that he thinks I would probably give me a kiss at the end of the evening. I almost wished I had my recorder out, just so I could play that back at that very moment. I'm so used to guys who aren't upfront and honest like me. Games and shit.
Anyway, I don't want to jinx anything. He's really funny, cool, and has his shit together.
End.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Ugh, my birthday.
Most people get excited about their birthday. Me...eh. My father died the day before my birthday 6 years ago. It's like a cloud hanging over me. So, for a couple years now, I've had a party. Have bands play or just get everyone together at a friend's pub. I need to surround myself with good people who may *actually* care for a few hours. Get my mind off 1) Turning 38. *vomit* 2) My dad 3) Still being single
I hate my birthday. I think I'll change the date. I mean, you can change your name, so surely there's a way to change your birthdate, right? RIGHT??????
I hate my birthday. I think I'll change the date. I mean, you can change your name, so surely there's a way to change your birthdate, right? RIGHT??????
I may have figured it out...
Yeah, I actually believe what guys say. The "Oh, we have so much in common," or the "are you just saying that to impress me?" shit. The endless texts but no phone call or actually face-to-face time. My problem is that I actually take to heart what people tell me. I'm just going to be a total cynic. What kills me most? I have a male friend who hasn't worked in almost 6 months. Love him to death. Doesn't even have his own place or even a vehicle to drive at the moment. HE is dating someone!!! How can this be??? How can a guy with absolutely NOTHING to offer have someone to hold and kiss, and here I am. Great job, nice car, cool apartment and all the other awesomeness about me...and nobody. WTF????????? I mean, yeah, he has a great personality, but there's not even a dollar in his pocket. *I* have a great personality, too. Geesh.
So, I'm just gonna keep my eyes open and ears shut. No more making the first move. No more "chasing" and making the first contact of the day. Fuck that shit. Everything you say is just bullshit, anyway.
So, I'm just gonna keep my eyes open and ears shut. No more making the first move. No more "chasing" and making the first contact of the day. Fuck that shit. Everything you say is just bullshit, anyway.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
The definition of insanity
Einstein said it was doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. In the past couple months, I think I became insane! A friend asked why I hadn't posted a blog lately. I'm breaking the insanity cycle. Here I was, Lil Miss Serial Dater. Meeting guys in the same way, expecting it to finally work.
Done with that. Told Mr. Love to fly a kite. That was a situation that, after 8 months, wasn't changing.
For now, I'll stay alone. It will have to smack me in the face. He will have to find me. It's gonna take a strong man to be able to deal with my life. I won't change it for anyone. I've worked for 6 years to get where I am. While I'm not anywhere close to where I want to be in my careers, I'm getting there. My dreams and ambitions will always come first. He who can live it with me is he who drives the 4 hours to Vegas with me. Ha!
Done with that. Told Mr. Love to fly a kite. That was a situation that, after 8 months, wasn't changing.
For now, I'll stay alone. It will have to smack me in the face. He will have to find me. It's gonna take a strong man to be able to deal with my life. I won't change it for anyone. I've worked for 6 years to get where I am. While I'm not anywhere close to where I want to be in my careers, I'm getting there. My dreams and ambitions will always come first. He who can live it with me is he who drives the 4 hours to Vegas with me. Ha!
Monday, January 5, 2009
How can someone be sooooooo insulting?
So, Jim, the guy who got the Chinese condiment bag note, emailed today. I had emailed him a few days ago, checking on how he was feeling (he had strep) and asked when we would be hanging out.
Here's the response I got:
"I am feeling about 1000 times better, thanks for asking. The upside of strep is that I think I may have actually stopped smoking!
As far as hanging out, I went on a last minute/impromptu date last week. It went very, very well. I think I need to investigate this before I get anything else going. I am sure you understand. If things don't work out you will definitely be hearing from me."
EXCUSE ME??????????? Lose my number, assclown.
Here's the response I got:
"I am feeling about 1000 times better, thanks for asking. The upside of strep is that I think I may have actually stopped smoking!
As far as hanging out, I went on a last minute/impromptu date last week. It went very, very well. I think I need to investigate this before I get anything else going. I am sure you understand. If things don't work out you will definitely be hearing from me."
EXCUSE ME??????????? Lose my number, assclown.
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