I've been on a few dates lately, but none were very memorable...until last night.
I went out with a guy named Dee. We'd talked on the phone a couple times and he is really smart, funny and to the point. Brooklyn. That pretty much says enough about his attitude.
He lives at the far end of the Valley, so I suggested going to Mill Ave. for the evening. I thought it would be nice to walk around, grab something to eat and have a chance to talk. The place was a madhouse. There was an ASU game and damn college kids EVERYWHERE. Great fodder, because it turns out that he takes as much pleasure in mocking others that I do. I have to say we hit it right off and laughed. A lot. We ended up at a dive bar. He rarely drinks and I don't drink at all, but it's a cool place with a really cool crowd.
I laughed so hard I spit my drink out. More than once. Spending an evening with someone who's smart, definitely good-looking and funny was something I really needed!
He even called today. Once this afternoon and then to say goodnight.
Has potential. I'll write more about him later, because this is one who actually wants to see me again and I plan on spending more time with him.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Friday, August 13, 2010
The past few weeks...
I haven't really done a whole lot of dating, but I did go out with two guys this month.
Sometimes, I attract the losers. I don't know what they think they can gain from being with me. I mean, I have a nice place, a nice car and a good job. But I'm fucking broke. Anyway, this guy RJ seemed pretty cool. He had a 1968 Coronet, and I'm a car junkie. So, we make plans to do ice cream and a movie. Turns out, he said his "car was in the shop." And that it got stolen and shit was wrong with the rear suspension. Ok, somewhat believable. So, I agree to pick him up. Well, as soon as he gave me the address, I knew this was not going to be anything past that night. 26th St & Van Buren. THE WORST neighborhood in Phoenix. RIGHT across the street from THE state mental hospital. AND he lives in one of those extended stay motels. Just pulling in there gave me hives, but it's not like I could just drive by, since he knew my car and was waiting outside. Grrrrreat. So, we go for ice cream and a movie. He paid for everything, which is unusual. He was a touchy-feeling person, which I guess is what I needed that night because it felt good during the movie. It was past midnight when the movie ended, and it was a Thursday night, so there was no way I was going to do anything more than just drop him off. I guess he was bummed I didn't go inside when I took him home. Um...I was NOT going to leave my car parked there. Strike one.
The next day, I asked him about his living situation and got some story about taking over his friend's lease, but she hadn't moved yet. Red flag. I could tell it was just a story, so I emailed him my dating requirements.
1. Must have own place, even if you live with roommates, it can't be a freaking week-to-week motel.
2. Must have car.
3. Must have driver's license. And insurance. AND registration.
4. No more than 1 baby mama. At my age, it's tough to find someone with NO kids, so I have to let something slide a little.
There were a couple more. Anyhow, his stories about his car and living situation just seemed bogus. I didn't hear from him for a couple days, and he texted me, saying he was trying so hard to get to know me. I reminded him kindly about what he'd have to do in order to actually date me. Pathetic. How does a 35-year old person NOT do adult things?????
Then, there's Dexter. Yes. Same name as my dog. Really funny guy. Personal trainer. I went to his place, and he was making dinner. Well, I attempted to go to his place but ended up at the place across the street. It was a total dive. *sigh* I knock on what I *thought* was his apartment and some old guy answered. Apparently, I was not in the right place. Phew! Went across the street and it's a really nice condo complex. Nice cars parked out front. Nice condo, tastefully decorated. We already had some things in common. In fact, he knew exactly where I lived because he knew my dead landlord. He didn't know he had died.
Anyway, we watched a movie and I went home. It was a really nice evening. I'll definitely be seeing him again, this weekend sometime.
I'll have to call him Mr. Dexter, though. My dog will have to be Lil Dexter. For the time being, of course. I like this one.
Sometimes, I attract the losers. I don't know what they think they can gain from being with me. I mean, I have a nice place, a nice car and a good job. But I'm fucking broke. Anyway, this guy RJ seemed pretty cool. He had a 1968 Coronet, and I'm a car junkie. So, we make plans to do ice cream and a movie. Turns out, he said his "car was in the shop." And that it got stolen and shit was wrong with the rear suspension. Ok, somewhat believable. So, I agree to pick him up. Well, as soon as he gave me the address, I knew this was not going to be anything past that night. 26th St & Van Buren. THE WORST neighborhood in Phoenix. RIGHT across the street from THE state mental hospital. AND he lives in one of those extended stay motels. Just pulling in there gave me hives, but it's not like I could just drive by, since he knew my car and was waiting outside. Grrrrreat. So, we go for ice cream and a movie. He paid for everything, which is unusual. He was a touchy-feeling person, which I guess is what I needed that night because it felt good during the movie. It was past midnight when the movie ended, and it was a Thursday night, so there was no way I was going to do anything more than just drop him off. I guess he was bummed I didn't go inside when I took him home. Um...I was NOT going to leave my car parked there. Strike one.
The next day, I asked him about his living situation and got some story about taking over his friend's lease, but she hadn't moved yet. Red flag. I could tell it was just a story, so I emailed him my dating requirements.
1. Must have own place, even if you live with roommates, it can't be a freaking week-to-week motel.
2. Must have car.
3. Must have driver's license. And insurance. AND registration.
4. No more than 1 baby mama. At my age, it's tough to find someone with NO kids, so I have to let something slide a little.
There were a couple more. Anyhow, his stories about his car and living situation just seemed bogus. I didn't hear from him for a couple days, and he texted me, saying he was trying so hard to get to know me. I reminded him kindly about what he'd have to do in order to actually date me. Pathetic. How does a 35-year old person NOT do adult things?????
Then, there's Dexter. Yes. Same name as my dog. Really funny guy. Personal trainer. I went to his place, and he was making dinner. Well, I attempted to go to his place but ended up at the place across the street. It was a total dive. *sigh* I knock on what I *thought* was his apartment and some old guy answered. Apparently, I was not in the right place. Phew! Went across the street and it's a really nice condo complex. Nice cars parked out front. Nice condo, tastefully decorated. We already had some things in common. In fact, he knew exactly where I lived because he knew my dead landlord. He didn't know he had died.
Anyway, we watched a movie and I went home. It was a really nice evening. I'll definitely be seeing him again, this weekend sometime.
I'll have to call him Mr. Dexter, though. My dog will have to be Lil Dexter. For the time being, of course. I like this one.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
I've never written anything while still "in the moment," but this was a pretty powerful one and I don't want to lose a second of it.
Travis. Someone only in town for a few days, I got a few hours of that. I was leery, because after all the shit I've been through and been told, I could give a fuck anymore. But there's always that one thing, the thing you can't really describe but it makes you make in impulsive decision, even though it was something that I had decided on a few days ago. Still an impulse. I think that I've been thinking too much and that's just so not me, so I was like "What the heck, I can spare a few hours." Well, those few hours impacted me in a strange way. Lately, so many things have been just so unexciting, that I HOPE to get flaked on. I HOPE it gets canceled. I needed that to change because that's just not the way I have always been in the past. Just lately. It's like I go through the motions out of obligation. It makes me antsy and I needed to be shaken. Well, today, I certainly was.
Starbucks, lots of conversation, but I really just want to take him home. I mean, we both knew it was going to happen at some point, but this guy knew how to talk. How to hold a conversation. A freaking intelligent one and I'm certainly not used to that. A conversation with a lot of parallels between us. One that showed true feelings. That's the shit that turns me on. I won't say that he wasn't gorgeous or had a kick-ass body or that he opened the fucking door for me. Writing books? Like me? Yeah, all of that but there's that one other thing...that thing you can't describe or even attempt to put into words. (Of course, in the back of my mind, I'm still thinking it was all bullshit. HA!)
So, we finally get to my place and talk some more. I knew the clock was ticking, but I didn't want to know the time. I really, really didn't. I am NOT the girl who makes the first move. I just can't. I'm always afraid of that rejection, even though I've never been rejected at first.
The pysical experience was one of the most powerful I have ever experienced. There was such a sense of urgency, that I just let it out. I didn't WANT to hold back because it could certainly be the ONLY time I got to spend with this person. I wanted to give, in such a bad way. I wanted to be the real me. And I felt comfortable doing that. Details of the sex aren't necessary, but it felt really right. Like these two people, somehow came together, pretty randomly and it just worked. For the first time, I didn't WANT to get him out the door. It's just like me to want what I really can't have. But, in my mind, the "This could be the ONLY time I am with this person" kept running through and I had to cherish every fucking moment of it.
I've been so accustomed to holding my emotions inside, but I actually fucking cried when he left. It was just so...beautiful. A little sadness, but mostly an experience that could not have been more perfect. That has only happened one other time in my entire life. It was while I was in Costa Rica and that was the most perfect night. Until today. For a split second, I was completely, totally in love.
Of course, "Thinking Amy" came back immediately. That fucking bitch.
Travis. Someone only in town for a few days, I got a few hours of that. I was leery, because after all the shit I've been through and been told, I could give a fuck anymore. But there's always that one thing, the thing you can't really describe but it makes you make in impulsive decision, even though it was something that I had decided on a few days ago. Still an impulse. I think that I've been thinking too much and that's just so not me, so I was like "What the heck, I can spare a few hours." Well, those few hours impacted me in a strange way. Lately, so many things have been just so unexciting, that I HOPE to get flaked on. I HOPE it gets canceled. I needed that to change because that's just not the way I have always been in the past. Just lately. It's like I go through the motions out of obligation. It makes me antsy and I needed to be shaken. Well, today, I certainly was.
Starbucks, lots of conversation, but I really just want to take him home. I mean, we both knew it was going to happen at some point, but this guy knew how to talk. How to hold a conversation. A freaking intelligent one and I'm certainly not used to that. A conversation with a lot of parallels between us. One that showed true feelings. That's the shit that turns me on. I won't say that he wasn't gorgeous or had a kick-ass body or that he opened the fucking door for me. Writing books? Like me? Yeah, all of that but there's that one other thing...that thing you can't describe or even attempt to put into words. (Of course, in the back of my mind, I'm still thinking it was all bullshit. HA!)
So, we finally get to my place and talk some more. I knew the clock was ticking, but I didn't want to know the time. I really, really didn't. I am NOT the girl who makes the first move. I just can't. I'm always afraid of that rejection, even though I've never been rejected at first.
The pysical experience was one of the most powerful I have ever experienced. There was such a sense of urgency, that I just let it out. I didn't WANT to hold back because it could certainly be the ONLY time I got to spend with this person. I wanted to give, in such a bad way. I wanted to be the real me. And I felt comfortable doing that. Details of the sex aren't necessary, but it felt really right. Like these two people, somehow came together, pretty randomly and it just worked. For the first time, I didn't WANT to get him out the door. It's just like me to want what I really can't have. But, in my mind, the "This could be the ONLY time I am with this person" kept running through and I had to cherish every fucking moment of it.
I've been so accustomed to holding my emotions inside, but I actually fucking cried when he left. It was just so...beautiful. A little sadness, but mostly an experience that could not have been more perfect. That has only happened one other time in my entire life. It was while I was in Costa Rica and that was the most perfect night. Until today. For a split second, I was completely, totally in love.
Of course, "Thinking Amy" came back immediately. That fucking bitch.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Meh.
I think dating is uneventful. The last guy I went out with was really nice, cool, but older. 46. Yeah. Though I will be 40 in less than a year, 46 seems so old to me. I don't live like an almost 40-year old, now do I look it. But 46...that's closer to 50 than 40. We just really didn't have chemistry. I know he liked me and he wanted to go out again, but you can't wait until
Thursday to ask me out for Saturday.
Another guy I was recently hooked-up with (not THAT kind of hook up) is also in recovery. I don't go out and try to find someone in the same situation as I am, because I'm a lot stronger than most addicts and can deal with being around the booze. I also don't believe in AA anymore. It was great when I first got clean (it will be 6 years in just 2 weeks!) and it helped me immensely, but it feels like a cult. I also don't like being told that I will relapse if I don't go to meetings. Life is about choices, and I will only drink again if I choose to, not because I don't go to some meeting. Anyway, his name is John and we had emailed and texted but, like my biggest pet peeve, never a phone call. How are you supposed to get to know someone if you never hear the sound of their voice or the way they express themselves verbally? Oh, and the "I didn't want to call because I didn't want to bother you" is such a fucking pussy way out of things. There's this thing called voicemail fi I don't answer. But I told Ayesha today...if you don't have the balls to call me to get to know me or ever ask me out, you don't have the fucking balls to share my life. Period.
I had a gig last week and met someone there. Now, I've learned my lesson when it comes to comics. No way can I go through that again. He's the promoter, so not technically a comic. Instant chemistry and we really got along. Now, here's where I get into the race thing. He's black. I gave him my number and he called the next day. In fact, it's like this with every black guy I date. There's no fear of that first contact. He called me twice yesterday. I still haven't heard from John and he's had my number for three weeks. Whatever!
Anyway, the brothas love me.
Thursday to ask me out for Saturday.
Another guy I was recently hooked-up with (not THAT kind of hook up) is also in recovery. I don't go out and try to find someone in the same situation as I am, because I'm a lot stronger than most addicts and can deal with being around the booze. I also don't believe in AA anymore. It was great when I first got clean (it will be 6 years in just 2 weeks!) and it helped me immensely, but it feels like a cult. I also don't like being told that I will relapse if I don't go to meetings. Life is about choices, and I will only drink again if I choose to, not because I don't go to some meeting. Anyway, his name is John and we had emailed and texted but, like my biggest pet peeve, never a phone call. How are you supposed to get to know someone if you never hear the sound of their voice or the way they express themselves verbally? Oh, and the "I didn't want to call because I didn't want to bother you" is such a fucking pussy way out of things. There's this thing called voicemail fi I don't answer. But I told Ayesha today...if you don't have the balls to call me to get to know me or ever ask me out, you don't have the fucking balls to share my life. Period.
I had a gig last week and met someone there. Now, I've learned my lesson when it comes to comics. No way can I go through that again. He's the promoter, so not technically a comic. Instant chemistry and we really got along. Now, here's where I get into the race thing. He's black. I gave him my number and he called the next day. In fact, it's like this with every black guy I date. There's no fear of that first contact. He called me twice yesterday. I still haven't heard from John and he's had my number for three weeks. Whatever!
Anyway, the brothas love me.
Friday, February 12, 2010
OK, people, here's another update!
This is going to be one of those instances where my Mom tells me "You're too picky." I call them standards.
About 3 or 4 weeks ago, I went out with a guy named Adrian. He suggested Oregano's. Being the food snob that I am, I wasn't really big on Oregano's, but at least it wasn't fucking Applebee's. Anyway, it was a really nice evening, but also when we had all that rain. We were seated outside, near the heater. No big deal, but after awhile I started freezing. He was nice enough to let the manager know so that I got a blanket for my lap. How sweet. He had wanted to have deep dish pizza, and it turns out he grew up in Chicago. Being a NYer, I was leery, but whatever. Anyway, the evening went well, lots of conversation. He texted me. A lot. But never called. The following week, he called and we made a date for the next week for me to take him for NY pizza on Thursday. Never called again but texted quite often. Now, correct me if I'm fucking wrong, but texting isn't a way to get to know someone or communicate. It's for people you KNOW or short stuff like "Be there in 10" or "How's your Mom?", right? Wednesday rolls around (keep in mind, three weeks and only one phone call) and he TEXTS that he'll meet met at 8pm the next night. Um. No. Going out at 8 on a week night is not going to work with me. Well, it might, if that person put a little more effort into getting to know me. Oh, did I mention he uses text TALK? That's where people are too fucking lazy to actually type out the word "YOU" and just use the letter "U" which is the most annoying thing on the planet. When I taught middle school I could excuse it. Not for a 38-year old man. "
Examples:
"What U up 2 2night?'
"Hope U are making it a gr8 Monday!" (surprised he spelled out "are" instead of using "R")
"I only work l8 on Thursdays." l8. With an "L" and an "8". Are you fucking kidding me???
Maybe it's the teacher in me. Or the fact that I spent more than $45 on my phone so that I can actually type something out...though, even on my RAZR, I could spell out anything with an extra tap of a button. Apparently, I'm not worth that effort.
I stopped texting back. Here's the last text I got:
"It was nice trying to get to know U. I guess U were not into trying to get to know me. Bye!"
Uh...bye.
About 3 or 4 weeks ago, I went out with a guy named Adrian. He suggested Oregano's. Being the food snob that I am, I wasn't really big on Oregano's, but at least it wasn't fucking Applebee's. Anyway, it was a really nice evening, but also when we had all that rain. We were seated outside, near the heater. No big deal, but after awhile I started freezing. He was nice enough to let the manager know so that I got a blanket for my lap. How sweet. He had wanted to have deep dish pizza, and it turns out he grew up in Chicago. Being a NYer, I was leery, but whatever. Anyway, the evening went well, lots of conversation. He texted me. A lot. But never called. The following week, he called and we made a date for the next week for me to take him for NY pizza on Thursday. Never called again but texted quite often. Now, correct me if I'm fucking wrong, but texting isn't a way to get to know someone or communicate. It's for people you KNOW or short stuff like "Be there in 10" or "How's your Mom?", right? Wednesday rolls around (keep in mind, three weeks and only one phone call) and he TEXTS that he'll meet met at 8pm the next night. Um. No. Going out at 8 on a week night is not going to work with me. Well, it might, if that person put a little more effort into getting to know me. Oh, did I mention he uses text TALK? That's where people are too fucking lazy to actually type out the word "YOU" and just use the letter "U" which is the most annoying thing on the planet. When I taught middle school I could excuse it. Not for a 38-year old man. "
Examples:
"What U up 2 2night?'
"Hope U are making it a gr8 Monday!" (surprised he spelled out "are" instead of using "R")
"I only work l8 on Thursdays." l8. With an "L" and an "8". Are you fucking kidding me???
Maybe it's the teacher in me. Or the fact that I spent more than $45 on my phone so that I can actually type something out...though, even on my RAZR, I could spell out anything with an extra tap of a button. Apparently, I'm not worth that effort.
I stopped texting back. Here's the last text I got:
"It was nice trying to get to know U. I guess U were not into trying to get to know me. Bye!"
Uh...bye.
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