I feel so insignificant. The past few months, I was blown-off by one of my really good friends. Twice. Once was at the movies. I sat. And waited. Nothing. Then, on a Friday night. I waited. No call till 90 minutes after we were to meet. I was already home.
This week, guy I've been seeing forgot we had plans. Twice.
I keep asking myself "What did I do??? Who am I? Who am I NOT??"
It's a shitty feeling to be forgotten. It feels worthless. I feel like I'm always available for everyone around me. I guess that's what I try to do to show people that my relationships with them are important to me. Am I extraordinary for that? I don't think so. I think that's what you're supposed to do.
Forgotten. Insignificant. Worthless.
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4 comments:
NOT TRUE!!!!!!
There certainly are NO excuses for people blowing you off, but this is a really crazy busy time of year for a lot of people and could be completely innocent.
I normally sit down on Sunday and write out everything I have to do that week and the past two weeks I have been so stressed and busy that I forgot, and I ended up missing two appointments AND even worse, forgot about a whole entire work day on Saturday and made other extensive plans.
It's easy to get distracted and you shouldn't look at it as something being wrong with you!! You rock!
I am sorry that you feel that way. I thought that we talked this through and both understood that I didn't mean to make you feel this way.
Oh, Ayesha, all had been forgiven, but this whole episode with Jason just opened the wound, so to speak.
Your blog is fantastic. So raw with truth it hurts to read it, and at the same time the fact that you keep your sense of humor it is so inspiring. Roof rats, relationships, feelings, blind dates, the quest for love and companionship.
It hits close to home (except for the rats) and I do think you have a book inside you... and I can't wait to read your next post. Feeling insignificant is a feeling... it isn't who you are. Feelings are so fluid sometimes we forget we are not our feelings. And that our feelings can change instantly.
The next time someone forgets you call another friend... or enjoy being with yourself, alone... some day (maybe sooner than you think) you will yearn to go to a movie just by yourself. Sounds crazy but that is my life.
You so brave and now I am kicking myself for deleting my blog worried that I was opening myself up to much... you are amazing.
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